You know you're a child of the 80's if/when...

...you remember the days when "safe sex" meant "my parents are gone for the weekend"...
...you remember when music that was labeled "alternative" really was...
...you took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van. You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you in the tail-gunner position...
...you learned to swim about the same time "Jaws" came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day...
...you Believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power!"...
...you saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen...
...you remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons ...
...your jaw would ache by the time you finished those brick sized packages of Bazooka gum...
...you know who Bo and Luke Duke are...
...you remember when VCRs cost $2,000...
...you remember when there was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together...
...you remember (and know how to use) rotary dial telephones...
...you remember the days that hooking your computer into your television wasn't an expensive option that required gadgets - it was the ONLY option...
...you remember the original version of Windows: Macintosh...
...you can remember Michael Jackson when he was black...
...you wanted to be a Goonie...
...you remember when film critics raved that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON...
...you've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phases:
"When I was younger"
"You know, back when..."
"Because I SAID so, that's why"
"Just can't (fill in the blank) like I used to"
...you loved Howard the duck...
...you thought Sheera and He-Man should hook up...
...you ever owned a pair of Jelly Shoes...
...your hair, at some point in time in the 80's, became something which can only be described by the phrase "I was experimenting"...
...you're finding that you just don't understand more than half the lingo used on MTV any more...
...you were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon...
..."Poltergeist" freaked you out...
...you carried your lunch to school in a "Gremlins" or an "ET" lunch box...
...the only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man...
...you ever wondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf...
...you remember dancing along with the Bangles in "Walk Like An Egyptian"...
...you remember Heathcliff the orange cat...
...you wore socks over tights with high-top Reeboks...
...you've gone through this list occasionally saying "That wasn't from the 80's"...
...you know what the "P" in "Alex P. Keaton" stands for...
...you can name all of the Thundercats...
...kids that work in restaurants and supermarkets are starting to piss you off by calling you "sir" or "ma'am"...
...you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song...
...you know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer"...
...you solved the Rubik's cube... by peeling off the stickers...
...Three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?